I know a lot of people, and well, consequently, a lot of people know me.. in sorts. Social obligations must be met, appearances must be kept, but what people don't know is who we really are! I mean behind the doors of our soul, when the lights are off and your covered to the neck in sheets and tears are running down your face for one reason or another because no one knows what's really going in your life and you have no one to turn to. This isn't to suggest that we aren't truthful about who we are in public, we're not "faking" our personalty or characteristics, but when people say, "hey, how's it going" they don't actually mean, "stop and tell me about your life" because most likely, they're dealing with their own crap! So it begs the question, how are we doing?
Well, I'll be one of the first to answer - not good. Not to be confused with the grammatical correctness of saying "not well" but truly not good. For my entire adult life I've been a classically broke american taxpayer. I had stable investments, equity in property, owned my own vehicles, traveled when we needed or wanted to but stayed pretty fiscally responsible with my expenses because I had very little cash. I remember the year I was making a 6 figure salary, how freeing that was. Never questioning my financial position, never having to tell my kids no when they wanted a small, deserving, something or another. It was wonderful. But in one falling swoop, and then some domino stuff, it was gone. I am no longer broke - I am officially poor. And quite frankly, it sucks.
I've maintained a steady income since I was 16 years. Sure I lived check to check from time to time but who hasn't. But on May 7, 2015 I was laid off from Forum Energy Technologies. I'll save the story of my accomplishments whilst there, suffice it to say there were a vast majority of people very surprised and disappointed I was gone. I remember the HR Manager Denise telling me, "Tim, you're sharp and have a strong resume, you'll be fine!" So why am I being laid off? Well here I am, 9 months later still unemployed, slowly becoming unemployable. My Checking account has been depleted, savings drained, 401k closed, investments sold, stocks cashed in, all the while moving in to a new home the January prior, so mostly likely losing my house sooner than later (personal speculation, no real threats to that affect have been made). To give an idea of what I mean, it took me 7 days to find enough change to buy a $6 light bulb for my wife's vehicle. Now, you may, at this point, think you've known most, maybe all of this, and you'd be right. I am not shy about my financial position, it is what it is... whatever that really means. But there's something you don't know.
2 years ago Thechive.com started a campaign called #RAKit (Random Acts of Kindness). It challenged, and encouraged, people to find moments in the day to commit random acts of kindness to perfect strangers. It started out as a bit of a game but by January of 2015 we had up'd the anti quite substantially. It's also safe to note that your perception of your surroundings change when this becomes a habit. It started as expected, helping people load vehicles when we'd see them, picking up trash cans that had blown in to the road, helping changed a flat on the side of the road or jump start a car. But in January of 2015 I was approached by a man in a parking lot who really got to me. His story was short and mere cents to eat was what he was asking for, at the time I was extremely skeptical, I still am, but not extremely. I gave him what I had in my pocket, a $10 bill. He thanked me, gave me a hug and said God would bless me... I won't elaborate on my psyche here. Moments later I see him sitting inside a Wendy's eating, I smiled. I committed, at that moment to help anyone who asked, in any way they asked, so long as it was in my power even if I didn't trust the person or the situation. It has been a wonderful experience. but the common theme with every homeless person I've met is they all thanked God for me helping them!!! An interesting association of gratitude to the unseen being of that scenario. But I never said otherwise. Even now, unemployed and with no money I still find opportunity's to help when and where I can. But at night, when no one is around, I wonder how I will take care of my own family. How will we pay for groceries, or gas or electricity? We have cut our finances down to the bare minimum, with the exception of our cell phones. I'm at the end of my rope. There's no cord left. It's been a cruel cruel time for me and my family. I can't let my family see me this way, it's not fair to them, it's not their fault. So I reach out to a computer screen and an emotionless keyboard and frantically type so as not to be found out.
Will this all pass? Yes. Will it be soon? No. Why am I going through this? I don't know.
The hardest thing about all of this is acceptance! Accepting that this is where I'm suppose to be for growth! As I type this, it's interesting to note that 3 people in America have won a 1.6 Billion Dollar powerball yielding approximately 528.2 million each before taxes. I wonder, were they going through this at the time of victory, it would be cool if they were. What elation they must feel! But what does one lose when they gain the world?
Well, I'll be one of the first to answer - not good. Not to be confused with the grammatical correctness of saying "not well" but truly not good. For my entire adult life I've been a classically broke american taxpayer. I had stable investments, equity in property, owned my own vehicles, traveled when we needed or wanted to but stayed pretty fiscally responsible with my expenses because I had very little cash. I remember the year I was making a 6 figure salary, how freeing that was. Never questioning my financial position, never having to tell my kids no when they wanted a small, deserving, something or another. It was wonderful. But in one falling swoop, and then some domino stuff, it was gone. I am no longer broke - I am officially poor. And quite frankly, it sucks.
I've maintained a steady income since I was 16 years. Sure I lived check to check from time to time but who hasn't. But on May 7, 2015 I was laid off from Forum Energy Technologies. I'll save the story of my accomplishments whilst there, suffice it to say there were a vast majority of people very surprised and disappointed I was gone. I remember the HR Manager Denise telling me, "Tim, you're sharp and have a strong resume, you'll be fine!" So why am I being laid off? Well here I am, 9 months later still unemployed, slowly becoming unemployable. My Checking account has been depleted, savings drained, 401k closed, investments sold, stocks cashed in, all the while moving in to a new home the January prior, so mostly likely losing my house sooner than later (personal speculation, no real threats to that affect have been made). To give an idea of what I mean, it took me 7 days to find enough change to buy a $6 light bulb for my wife's vehicle. Now, you may, at this point, think you've known most, maybe all of this, and you'd be right. I am not shy about my financial position, it is what it is... whatever that really means. But there's something you don't know.
2 years ago Thechive.com started a campaign called #RAKit (Random Acts of Kindness). It challenged, and encouraged, people to find moments in the day to commit random acts of kindness to perfect strangers. It started out as a bit of a game but by January of 2015 we had up'd the anti quite substantially. It's also safe to note that your perception of your surroundings change when this becomes a habit. It started as expected, helping people load vehicles when we'd see them, picking up trash cans that had blown in to the road, helping changed a flat on the side of the road or jump start a car. But in January of 2015 I was approached by a man in a parking lot who really got to me. His story was short and mere cents to eat was what he was asking for, at the time I was extremely skeptical, I still am, but not extremely. I gave him what I had in my pocket, a $10 bill. He thanked me, gave me a hug and said God would bless me... I won't elaborate on my psyche here. Moments later I see him sitting inside a Wendy's eating, I smiled. I committed, at that moment to help anyone who asked, in any way they asked, so long as it was in my power even if I didn't trust the person or the situation. It has been a wonderful experience. but the common theme with every homeless person I've met is they all thanked God for me helping them!!! An interesting association of gratitude to the unseen being of that scenario. But I never said otherwise. Even now, unemployed and with no money I still find opportunity's to help when and where I can. But at night, when no one is around, I wonder how I will take care of my own family. How will we pay for groceries, or gas or electricity? We have cut our finances down to the bare minimum, with the exception of our cell phones. I'm at the end of my rope. There's no cord left. It's been a cruel cruel time for me and my family. I can't let my family see me this way, it's not fair to them, it's not their fault. So I reach out to a computer screen and an emotionless keyboard and frantically type so as not to be found out.
Will this all pass? Yes. Will it be soon? No. Why am I going through this? I don't know.
The hardest thing about all of this is acceptance! Accepting that this is where I'm suppose to be for growth! As I type this, it's interesting to note that 3 people in America have won a 1.6 Billion Dollar powerball yielding approximately 528.2 million each before taxes. I wonder, were they going through this at the time of victory, it would be cool if they were. What elation they must feel! But what does one lose when they gain the world?
